Considering divorce? Attend our Divorce Options Workshop Saturday, September 2

Divorce doesn't have to difficult. Learn more at the next San Diego Divorce Options workshop on Saturday, November 4.

Divorce filings rise as children return to school; get informed about your choices

(SAN DIEGO) – As children return to school and families end summer vacations, divorce filing rise in California. If you are considering ending your marriage, get informed about your options at the next “Divorce Options” workshop in San Diego offered by the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego.

The next “Divorce Options” workshop takes place on Saturday, September 2, 2017, from 10:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at 11622 El Camino Real, Suite 100, San Diego, California, 92130. The building is next to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse at the intersection of Route 56 and Interstate 5. See a map here.

Workshops take place the first Saturday of every month. The cost is $25 per person to cover materials and expenses. To RSVP and submit payment, visit our Divorce Options page.

For additional information, call Divorce Options at (858) 472-4022 or email at sandiegodivorceoptions@gmail.com

Seminar leaders help people in a diverse range of situations and are able to take any questions. Divorce is difficult and stressful even under the best of circumstances. It can be especially hard if you have children or economic difficulties. Divorce affects people from all walks of life, and no two situations are alike.It is possible despite challenges to preserve the emotional and financial resources of the family while respecting everyone’s needs during a divorce.

Divorce doesn’t have to difficult. Alternative Dispute Resolution methods such as Collaborative Divorce can make a painful process easier for anyone.

Led by volunteer attorneys, financial specialists, and mental health professionals who are members of the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego, the workshop will cover the full range of choices couples have as they contemplate divorce, focusing on the non-adversarial, out-of-court options.

The Divorce Options program helps San Diegans become more knowledgeable about the resources they can draw on to plan an effective transition that respects the needs and interests of all family members. Taking time to become more knowledgeable can go a long way to ease the anxiety about your divorce, and allows you to take control of your future.

Divorce Options provides unbiased information about self-representation, mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigated divorce. The workshop deals with the legal, financial, family and personal issues of divorce in an informational and compassionate small group setting. There is NO solicitation of business.

The Divorce Options program welcomes anyone thinking about divorce or other relationship transitions including co-habitating couples with children or LGBT couples looking for a process aware and respectful of their unique needs. Divorce Options offers useful information adaptable to a wide variety of family circumstances.

Topics include:

  • Litigation, mediation and collaboration – the risks and the benefits of each process
  • Legal, financial, psychological and social issues of divorce
  • How to talk about divorce with your children
  • Guidance from divorce experts

By learning about divorce and the different process options available you can maximize your ability to make good decisions during the difficult and challenging time. Divorce Options is a workshop designed to help couples take the next step, no matter where they are in the process. It identifies strategies to help you stay out of court, and helps you identify the social, emotional, legal, and financial issues that are most pressing for you.

About the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego

CFLG San Diego’s members work together to learn, practice, and promote collaborative processes for problem solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial, assets of the family. Its goal is to transform the resolution of family law issues through respectful, collaborative processes that protect the integrity and health of family relationships and eliminate the need for families to resort to litigation.

CFLG is online at www.collaborativefamilylawsandiego.com, and LinkedIn.

Law Week 2017 Special: Divorce Options Workshop Free June 3

TGet your questions about divorce answered at a free workshop on Saturday, June 3 in Carmel Valley. RSVP today.

Special for Law Week: Workshop is free for the last time in 2017 – RSVP today

San Diegans facing difficult decisions about divorce can now take advantage of a valuable workshop offering information about their alternatives to a stressful, adversarial divorce.

Led by volunteer attorneys, financial specialists, and mental health professionals who are members of the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego, the next “Divorce Options” workshop session takes place on Saturday, June 3, from 10:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at 11622 El Camino Real, Suite 100, San Diego, California, 92130. The building is next to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse at the intersection of Route 56 and Interstate 5. See a map here.

In honor of San Diego Law Week 2017, this workship will be offered to the public at no cost. For the remainder of 2017, workshop attendance will cost $25.

TGet your questions about divorce answered at a free workshop on Saturday, June 3 in Carmel Valley. RSVP today.

Get your questions about divorce answered at a free workshop on Saturday, June 3 in Carmel Valley. RSVP today.

Workshops are held on the first Saturday of each month. Facilitators cover the full range of choices couples have as they contemplate divorce, focusing on the non-adversarial, out-of-court options.

Divorce is difficult and stressful even under the best of circumstances. If you have children, it’s even more difficult. Most people have a lot of questions, but aren’t sure where to get answers.

Our workshops let people know it is possible despite challenges to preserve the emotional and financial resources of the family while respecting everyone’s needs during a divorce. Presenters offer unbiased information about self-representation, mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigated divorce. The workshop deals with the legal, financial, family and personal issues of divorce in an informational and compassionate small group setting.

Our goal is helping people avoid crowded family courts, save the time, cost, and emotional stress involved in litigation, and emerge with healthy family relationships moving forward.

The Divorce Options program is useful to anyone thinking about divorce or other relationship transitions including co-habitating couples with children or LGBT couples looking for a process aware and respectful of their unique needs.

Becoming more knowledgeable can go a long way to ease the anxiety about your divorce, and allows you to take control of your future.

For additional information or to RSVP for the Law Week Divorce Options Workshop ONLY, call Divorce Options at (858) 472-4022 or email at sandiegodivorceoptions@gmail.com

About the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego

CFLG San Diego’s members work together to learn, practice, and promote collaborative processes for problem-solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial, assets of the family. Its goal is to transform the resolution of family law issues through respectful, collaborative processes that protect the integrity and health of family relationships and eliminate the need for families to resort to litigation.

Financial Mistakes Men and Women Make When Getting Divorced

Men and women often make financial mistakes when getting divorced. Learn what they are and how to avoid them. San Diego Collaborative Divorce information 858-472-4022

Men and women often make financial mistakes when getting divorced. Learn what they are and how to avoid them. San Diego Collaborative Divorce information 858-472-4022

Under the emotional stress of a divorce, it can be difficult to make decisions, especially when they involved financial matters. There are several common mistakes that occur. Some are made by the person who is the primary breadwinner, often the husband. There are different common mistakes made by the person who makes less money, or who is the primary parent, often the wife.

Justin Reckers, CFP, CDFA, financial professional and President of the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego, offers his advice on financial decision-making during divorce in two new informative articles in Investment News:

5 Financial Mistakes Divorcing Men Make

5 Financial Mistakes Divorcing Women Make

One of the worst decisions both women and men make: hiring a “killer” divorce attorney who will “fight” for them. Starting your divorce process on a contentious track means that all of your discussions about children, dividing assets and the transition from being married to being divorced become more challenging. It often takes a lot longer, and costs a lot more.

The Collaborative Divorce approach avoids the stress and expense of a litigated divorce, and results in healthier long-term outcomes. Contact the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego at 858-472-4022 or attend one of our Divorce Options workshops to learn more.

 

Desensitizing, Brutalizing, And Degrading: Is This the Effect of Divorce Court?

Learn about your Divorce Options at our October 7 workshop.

by Mark Hill, Certified Financial Planner, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
and Ryan Fentin-Thompson, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
Pacific Divorce Management

Divorce can be a dehumanizing experience, especially for children. Avoiding a court battle can help relieve some of the negative effects of divorce on the family.

Divorce can be a dehumanizing experience, especially for children. Avoiding a court battle can help relieve some of the negative effects of divorce on the family.

Oftentimes, a couple going through divorce is portrayed as angry, revengeful and resentful towards one another. While these feelings may be present we have found that the more prevalent sentiment for both parties is a feeling of sadness and sorrow. Despite any current animosity that may be felt towards one another, no one enters into marriage expecting to divorce, so there will always be some sense of loss.

From the outsider’s perspective, one might assume the hostility between the couple stems from the decision to divorce; however, more often, it is the process of divorce which produces these feelings. The litigation system drives people from sad to furious, furious to enraged, enraged to resentful. Open court is usually the worst place to negotiate the end of an intimate relationship. Not only is this a public forum but also it tends to place the focus on winning and losing which usually does not benefit the whole family.

mark-hill-photo-02One example I saw in my own practice was in a highly contested divorce where both husband and wife wanted to keep the family home. Since they could not reach agreement, the judge ordered the house sold, which had the result of taking the children away from their friends and requiring them to change schools based upon their parents’ new residency.

Even the best judges seldom have time to do more than render strictly legal based decisions which lack the creativity which families always need when facing divorce. I was struck by a recent TV commercial related to our current presidential election using the tagline “Our children are watching,” and thought how it also relates to divorce. Offspring of divorcing couples always learn a lot about relationships from how their parents behave throughout the process. My experience is that choosing the adversarial approach seldom improves such behavior.

It can be dehumanizing for the professionals involved as well. Most people go into this field from a desire to help families work through what is usually an incredibly difficult life event. Too often, we find the system forcing decisions that we know will not fit the needs of our clients. It undermines what motivates us to do this work and can distance us from our own sense of humanity and compassion. We in the field have all experienced cases where outcomes fall well short of what our hopes and expectations were at the point at which we were retained. Recent research has suggested divorce professionals pay an ongoing price for this, described as “vicarious trauma.”

Alternative dispute resolution allows many of the shortcomings of a traditional divorce to be addressed. Professionals are required to look for creative solutions that benefit the entire family rather than trying to advance the cause of one side. The clients are engaged and required to take responsibility for the decisions that are reached. In the case of Collaborative Divorce they do so with the resources of legal, financial, and mental health professionals together with them at the table. We have found that this provides the best opportunity for outcomes that avoid much of the negativity usually associated with divorce.

 

 

 

July 2 Workshop Helps Couples Make Good Divorce Decisions

Experts offer guidance and answer questions at free workshop

(SAN DIEGO) – No two divorces are alike, but this much is true: divorce is stressful even under the best of circumstances. It can be especially hard if you have children or economic difficulties.

The good news: It is possible despite challenges to preserve the emotional and financial resources of the family while respecting everyone’s needs during a divorce.

Figuring out a way to get divorced without hurting your children or destroying family relationships may seem impossible. The Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego can explains how to make it happen through its “Divorce Options” workshops.

The next Divorce Options in San Diego takes place on Saturday, July 2 from 9 a.m. to 12 noon at the Scripps Ranch Civic Association Community Center, 11885 Cypress Canyon Road (corner of Scripps Poway Parkway and Cypress Canyon, two miles east of Interstate 15).

Workshops take place the first Saturday of every month.

No matter what your personal situation, workshop leaders can help you navigate this difficult time in your life.

For additional information or to RSVP, call Divorce Options at (858) 472-4022 or email at sandiegodivorceoptions@gmail.com

Led by volunteer attorneys, financial specialists, and mental health professionals who are members of the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego, the workshop will cover the full range of choices couples have as they contemplate divorce, focusing on the non-adversarial, out-of-court options.

Divorce Options provides unbiased information about self-representation, mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigated divorce. The workshop deals with the legal, financial, family and personal issues of divorce in an informational and compassionate small group setting. There is NO solicitation of business.

The Divorce Options program welcomes anyone thinking about divorce or other relationship transitions including co-habitating couples with children or LGBT couples looking for a process aware and respectful of their unique needs. Divorce Options offers useful information adaptable to a wide variety of family circumstances.

“We could not be more pleased by the response to our workshops,” said Dan Martin, family law attorney and Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego member. “The Divorce Options program gives us an opportunity to help people become more knowledgeable about the resources they can draw on to plan an effective transition that respects the needs and interests of all family members. Taking time to become more knowledgeable can go a long way to ease the anxiety about your divorce, and allows you to take control of your future,” said Martin.

Topics include:

  • Litigation, mediation and collaboration – the risks and the benefits of each process
  • Legal, financial, psychological and social issues of divorce
  • How to talk about divorce with your children
  • Guidance from divorce experts

By learning about divorce and the different process options available you can maximize your ability to make good decisions during the difficult and challenging time. Divorce Options is a workshop designed to help couples take the next step, no matter where they are in the process. It identifies strategies to help you stay out of court, and helps you identify the social, emotional, legal, and financial issues that are most pressing for you.

About the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego

CFLG San Diego’s members work together to learn, practice, and promote collaborative processes for problem solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial, assets of the family. Its goal is to transform the resolution of family law issues through respectful, collaborative processes that protect the integrity and health of family relationships and eliminate the need for families to resort to litigation.

CFLG is online at www.collaborativefamilylawsandiego.com, and LinkedIn.

Get Answers at Divorce Options Workshop Saturday, May 7

Find answers to your difficult questions at this free workshop

(SAN DIEGO) – San Diegans who are struggling with the difficult choices of a divorce have found the place to get their answers: the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego Divorce Options workshops.

The next Divorce Options in San Diego takes place on Saturday, May 7, from 9 a.m. to 12 noon at the Scripps Ranch Civic Association Community Center, 11885 Cypress Canyon Road (corner of Scripps Poway Parkway and Cypress Canyon, two miles east of Interstate 15).

Workshops take place the first Saturday of every month. Seminar leaders help people in a diverse range of situations and are able to take any questions. Divorce is difficult and stressful even under the best of circumstances. It can be especially hard if you have children or economic difficulties. Divorce affects people from all walks of life, and no two situations are alike.It is possible despite challenges to preserve the emotional and financial resources of the family while respecting everyone’s needs during a divorce.

For additional information or to RSVP, call Divorce Options at (858) 472-4022 or email at sandiegodivorceoptions@gmail.com

Led by volunteer attorneys, financial specialists, and mental health professionals who are members of the Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego, the workshop will cover the full range of choices couples have as they contemplate divorce, focusing on the non-adversarial, out-of-court options.

Divorce Options provides unbiased information about self-representation, mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigated divorce. The workshop deals with the legal, financial, family and personal issues of divorce in an informational and compassionate small group setting. There is NO solicitation of business.

Family with dogThe Divorce Options program welcomes anyone thinking about divorce or other relationship transitions including co-habitating couples with children or LGBT couples looking for a process aware and respectful of their unique needs. Divorce Options offers useful information adaptable to a wide variety of family circumstances.

“We could not be more pleased by the response to our workshops,” said Dan Martin, family law attorney and Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego member. “The Divorce Options program gives us an opportunity to help people become more knowledgeable about the resources they can draw on to plan an effective transition that respects the needs and interests of all family members. Taking time to become more knowledgeable can go a long way to ease the anxiety about your divorce, and allows you to take control of your future,” said Martin.

Topics include:

  • Litigation, mediation and collaboration – the risks and the benefits of each process
  • Legal, financial, psychological and social issues of divorce
  • How to talk about divorce with your children
  • Guidance from divorce experts

New Technology Opens California Court System Access to All

Screen shot of the innovative California Courts app.

by Susan L Rapp, CFL-S

California courts, including Superior Courts handling divorce, support, and child custody matters, have been severely impacted by state budget cuts. This has resulted in a reduction

Susan Rapp, CLS-F, Family Law Attorney

Susan Rapp, CLS-F, Family Law Attorney

in family court personnel, reduced hours for filings, lengthy waits for divorce judgments to be processed, and delays in child support wage assignments being issued. Family law litigants are sometimes required to have a hearing without a court reporter or to provide a reporter at their own expense. Delays in obtaining hearing dates compound a divorcing couple’s financial and/or emotional distress particularly if there are pressing issues that cannot be resolved without court intervention.

It is often stated justice delayed is justice denied. While I lament the impact the budget cuts are having on our California judicial system, I am heartened by the judicial system’s significant, but not yet universal, adoption of the internet as a resource for litigants, attorneys, the courts, and the general public.

Computers were just replacing typewriters when I first began practicing law. There was no internet. Legal research required access to a well-equipped law library. Reported appellate cases, statutory provisions, and law review articles were found in printed volumes you hoped would be on the shelf when needed.

Given what we had to work with then, it is exciting to see a wide range of information, pleadings, and documents related to the courts and judicial process readily and inexpensively accessible using various websites and apps. Let me share a few of my favorites.

Screen shot of the Judicial Council of California website self-help section.

Screen shot of the Judicial Council of California website self-help section.

Judicial Council of California Website

The Judicial Council of California is the policy making body of the California courts. Its website has an excellent “self-help” section containing a vast amount of information. Specific pleadings that need to be completed and filed with the court regarding a particular legal matter are identified. The mandatory and discretionary Judicial Council pleading forms for family law cases (as well as civil and probate) are available in auto-fill format at the website. These forms can be printed for signing and filing once completed. The site even has videos designed to walk a litigant through completing certain form pleadings. The site is particularly valuable to litigants who cannot afford an attorney or choose to be self-represented.

Every county in California including San Diego County has a comprehensive courts website.

Every county in California including San Diego County has a comprehensive courts website.

San Diego County Superior Court Website

The Superior Court of every county in California has a website accessible by entering “[County name] Superior Court website” into the Google search box. Our San Diego Superior Court family court website includes links to the state and local rules of court, courtroom judicial assignments and telephone numbers to court clerks and various administrative offices, hearing calendars, a video designed to familiarize parents with the Family Court Services mediation process that is required when there are child custody or visitation issues, Judicial Council pleadings forms, and an index of cases filed in the San Diego Superior Court during the last several decades. The websites of the Superior Court of various other counties contain detailed information regarding the nature, date and outcome of court proceedings occurring in a particular case, and a link for ordering conformed copies of pleadings and orders in the court file.

Screen shot of the innovative California Courts app.

Screen shot of the innovative California Courts app.

California Courts App

The “California Courts” app is available through the iTunes store for $2.99. This app pulls information into a single location from a number of different websites. This app is particularly useful to practicing attorneys but is also a great resource for anyone wanting to become more familiar with the workings and work product of the California judicial system.

The app provides quick access to all published opinions of the California Supreme Court and the California Courts of Appeal. You can use this app to access information at the State Bar of California website pertaining to attorneys, including information related to when a particular attorney became licensed, law school attended, and whether the attorney has been the subject of any disciplinary proceedings. You can search for attorneys within a particular county designated by the State Bar of California as certified specialists in a particular area, such as family law.

Besides assisting those involved in legal proceedings to maneuver through the court system, the low-or-no cost and ease of access to information available to everyone via the internet bodes well for our democracy. The vast amount of information allows citizens to become educated about the law, their legal rights and the recourse available through the courts when those rights are infringed.

I would love to see civics and government teachers and their students become familiar with and take advantage of the educational resources available through websites and apps like those mentioned. I am hopeful adequate funding will soon be restored to the California courts to ensure litigants have their day in court in a timely, efficient, and effective manner, so that our judicial system, designed to enforce the rule of law upon which our system is premised, will continue to receive the respect it justly deserves.

San Diego Osteopathic Physicians Learn About Collaborative Divorce

Cinda Jones (left) and Myra Fleischer address the San Diego Osteopathic Medical Association about Collaborative Divorce as an alternative to traditional litigated divorce.
Cinda Jones (left) and Myra Fleischer address the San Diego Osteopathic Medical Association about Collaborative Divorce as an alternative to traditional litigated divorce.

Cinda Jones (left) and Myra Fleischer address the San Diego Osteopathic Medical Association about Collaborative Divorce as an alternative to traditional litigated divorce.

Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego incoming 2016 president, attorney Myra Chack Fleischer, CFL-S, and board member Cinda Jones, CFP, CDFA, joined members of the San Diego Osteopathic Medical Association spoke at the group’s November meeting for a presentation on Collaborative Practice as an alternative to traditional litigated divorce.

The presentation provided an overview of the process, introduced the members of the divorce team and how they work together with the couple, and the advantages of Collaborative Divorce as a more holistic approach, including privacy protection and the emotional well-being of the family.

The Collaborative Family Law Group thanks all of the members who attended for their time, attention, and questions about the Collaborative Divorce process.

If you would like a presentation to your business, service, or social organization about Collaborative Divorce, please contact Gayle Falkenthal at gayle@falconvalleygroup.com or call 619-997-2495 to schedule. We look forward to speaking with you.

Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club Learns about Collaborative Divorce

Thank you to Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club President Pauline Getz and all of the members for their hospitality.
Anna Addleman, CPA, CDFA, CFF, CFE; and Myra Fleischer, CFL-S, joined the Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club to talk about Collaborative Divorce.

Anna Addleman, CPA, CDFA, CFF, CFE; and Myra Fleischer, CFL-S, joined the Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club to talk about Collaborative Divorce.

Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego president Anna M. Addleman, CPA, CDFA, CFF, CFE; and attorney Myra Chack Fleischer, CFL-S, incoming 2016 President, joined members of the Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club at the September meeting for a presentation on Collaborative Practice as an alternative to traditional litigated divorce.

The presentation provided an overview of the process, introduced the members of the divorce team and how they work together with the couple, and the advantages of Collaborative Divorce including privacy protection and the emotional well-being of the family.

Anna Addleman explains the differences between Collaborative Divorce and traditional divorce litigation.

Anna Addleman explains the differences between Collaborative Divorce and traditional divorce litigation.

Thank you to Program Chairman Bill Stoudemire and President Pauline Getz for their warm welcome and to the entire club for its attention and hospitality.

If you would like a presentation to your business, service, or social organization about Collaborative Divorce, please contact Gayle Falkenthal at gayle@falconvalleygroup.com or call 619-997-2495 to schedule. We look forward to speaking with you.

Thank you to Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club President Pauline Getz and all of the members for their hospitality.

Thank you to Poway Scripps Ranch Rotary Club President Pauline Getz and all of the members for their hospitality.

Why a Collaborative Divorce Makes Financial Sense

Collaborative Divorce offers many advantages to divorcing couples, particularly financial. Courtesy US News & World Report

Collaborative Divorce offers many advantages to divorcing couples, particularly financial. Courtesy US News & World Report

For couples ready to part ways, a Collaborative Divorce can often prevent the angry, destructive results of many divorce proceedings. As reported in U.S. News & World Report, Collaborative Divorce embraces the concept that a couple once considered themselves partners during their marriage, and should be able to end it together as well, deciding how to split assets and how the co-parenting should work out in a way in which neither party feels too disappointed when it comes time to sign the divorce papers.

The Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego is encouraged by media coverage in publications like U.S. News, helping spread the message about the option offered to couples by the Collaborative approach.

Read the entire article at this link.